Thank God, Kanye Won't Make This Bitch Famous.
i used to be such a dedicated blogger once upon a time, now i have an actual .com and have only made one very lousy post. sorry. life is really happening over here, believe it or not.
to continue from my last post in thinking about the future. i think i mentioned how
VERY VERY VERY LONG
i have been in school trying to complete my undergrad. does the word "very" start to look weird up there to anyone else? anyway, this year marks 6, and i will finally be graduating come spring! its taken me so long bc i work so much to pay the leftovers of tuition (after financial aid, scholarships and loans are accounted for), so i typically take only around 12 credit hours per semester. this keeps how much i have to pay out of pocket at a number i can afford working full time, while still being able to tend to school work. its a balancing act and if you know me, you know i'm a little off balance so this is challenging. but i am doing the damn thang! YES!!!
last night there was a meeting at the school about the BFA show and graduation. there were two meetings--i had to go to the later bc i had a class that conflicted with the earlier. so it was just the scragglers there. maybe 20 people filled the ballroom full of chairs when i showed up. i sat down. and i don't know what came over me, but i bursted into tears. i mean they were really flowing. i wiped my eyes and thought to myself, "what the hell, pull yourself together!" althoughhhh, people randomly crying is a lot more acceptable in art school, so i wasn't mortified enough to excuse myself. i couldn't tell if i was crying because i was in disbelief that this day i have worked so hard for was actually going to happen... or if it was because i was already mourning the classes i didn't get to take before graduating. i mean, i have been miserable between being spread too thin to truly shine in school or work and dealing with how depressed not feeling like this goal had an actual end in sight... but hell! i LOVE the classes i have taken! i have never been in an academic setting where i have been so hungry to learn until starting at SAIC. either way, i pulled myself together and the speaker started to discuss graduation. ugh. i lost it. again. this time my nose started running, i couldn't keep up with wiping my tears on my sleeve between sniffles. i gave up. one soggy, sappy mess. finally, the meeting ended. and i ran away.
no. i didn't run away. still in awe and disbelief, i checked with an advisor to see if i was reeeeally going to be graduating.
i am. it's for sure.
now, i'm dreading graduation because I can only imagine how ridiculous it will look when i'm wailing over-top the keynote speaker's speech. thank god kanye west spoke in 2015 and not this year... we know what he thinks about whiny white chicks, lmao.
*this speech is horrible, but i thought i should listen to it finally since i am referencing it. one thing is true, things will be easier because i can say i have a degree from the school of the art institute of chicago. actually this speech, might be enough to stop my tears from flowing... for a man who is clever with his words, he sure gave a stupid doctoral speech.